You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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