Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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