I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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