There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
