sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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