some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
