Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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