Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i will never coherently bang her
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
