I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
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You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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