I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
