before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize