I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my being single is dangerous.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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