New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize