Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
