i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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