Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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