yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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