The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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