i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
