Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
