Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
