a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
