and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
