We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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