i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
