I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
