I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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