dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
