Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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