Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
