Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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