He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
