This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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