gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
