Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
