I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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