Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
