I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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