I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
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you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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