Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
