Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
