You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
