Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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