My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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