you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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