its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
