if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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