i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
