I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize