Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
