i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
