dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
