Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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