you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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