How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just got carded by a ten year old.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
