that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
