i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
