i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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