If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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