that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
