You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
