do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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