I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
