you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
