A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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