..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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