i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
