he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
