she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize