um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
